Boredom

I cannot take it anymore. I simply cannot. (I'm on fire today. Can you tell?) I have been out of work for a while due to an injury. It's too long and annoying and embarrassing to get into. But let's just say, that no one would believe my tough girl persona if they knew how I got hurt. Anyway, that's not the point.

So I've been home for about a month now. I am not very mobile. I cannot really go anywhere except hobble my way to the doctor. Driving is difficult and so painful, it's nearly impossible. This is mostly because my car is a stick shift. *note to self, maybe caving in to an automatic might be the way to go on the next car purchase* So what can I do? I stay home.

Home is incredibly boring. To quote Johnny Rotten, "Boring boring boring". Except he was talking about sex and I would never ever say sex was boring, even if it was. Which it might often be. But I digress.

I stare at the walls in my tiny little apartment all day long. Holy moly I cannot stand it! It's bad enough that we went with neutral colors when we painted and bought furniture so everything is tan or beige or a light brown. And yes that shows we're grown ups now. But it's a whole other story when I have to stare at it all day long. My god it inspires nothing! I am in a sea of nothingness. Nothing exciting, nothing to do, no one to do. How sad is this? This is awful.

Now, I could try to have fun and play with the dog all day. Unfortunately, she sleeps almost all day long because she's old. And since I can't move around all that well, not running around much really isn't fun for a dog. So much for that idea.

So what can I do? And yeah, I've already thought of fucking myself. That only takes up so much time when one is alone so try another idea wise ass. I'm up for other suggestions. So come on. Drop me a note and give me an idea. I've already come up with the idea of writing this blog. But since I'm not doing a whole lot during the day, I only have so much to write about. Maybe I could find a producer? Look for a new job- one where I don't need to dress up in protective gear like my favorite goalie Henrik Lundqvist.

What's the expression? Idle hands are the devil's tools? Well I'm trying to keep out of trouble. However, I firmly intend to take over Hell when I get there so maybe I should just start practicing now.

Living on the world's largest garbage dump

What am I supposed to write about today? Global warming? OK here's my version.

I live in a place that has this unfortunate reputation. It was built upon the world's largest landfill. It can be seen from space. I know I know, you wish you were me. (Trust me, you do not wish you were me. But that's a story for another day.)

This lovely place has that certain special aroma on hot summer days, you know, ode to shitbag or something or other. It's awful. One cannot breathe while driving on the highway that runs through it. It is unbelievable. And what's worse is the fact that people live incredibly close to it. I don't know the exact figures but it is within blocks. Who the hell would choose of their own free will to live so close to a dump? Closed or not, you have to realize there are extreme health risks don't you? Like the cancer clusters that have formed? (I am purposely not citing sources because it would give away where I live.) I mean why would you do that? Are things that bad where you currently live that you say to yourself "Even living right next to the dump is better then this?". I just don't get it.

So I'm guessing that because people live in a place that used to be a dump, they act like the entire place still is a dump. They throw all manner of things out the windows of their cars- fast food containers, tissues, cigarette boxes, whatever. You know this is bad enough. It infuriates me. I honk my horn and yell various expletives which of course doesn't do anything but let me vent a bit. But dude, DO NOT THROW THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR MOONROOF!! IT LANDS ON MY WINDSHIELD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! I don't need your crap on my windshield because you can't wait 5 fucking minutes until you get home to throw it in your own garbage. No I wouldn't even suggest recycling it because I'm sure that you don't know what the word recycle means. You fucking douchebag! Die!

*deep breath* OK I feel better. This is how global warming has affected me. The place I live is disgusting. Several people who live here are also disgusting. They have no care for the land they live on. I suddenly feel like the star of this commercial from the 70's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4ozVMxzNAA

Old Column risen from the dead

Welcome to Whips & Kisses

I haven't been writing much for a long while. Whips & Kisses was a monthly column I used to write for a friend's Ezine called Propeller Magazine, also called Ffd Magazine. He decided to end the ezine and I didn't have the time to run the whole thing. But I really missed writing the column. So recently, I decided to make it a blog. I'll be writing about a plethora of things- relationships, my dog, stupid people, real estate (stupid people involved in real estate) - basically whatever is on my mind at the time. I have a lot of varied interests. It might make for good reading, it might not. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it.

I guess something to be aware of is that I have 2 master's degrees in counseling psychology. While my statements might be brutal, you can be sure they are made with a deeply educated foundation, even if it's not PC. I might ask questions that will piss people off. So be it. I'm not here to stroke egos.
I love answering mail so write with your questions. If you don't like my answer, that's too bad.